The Gift of Timing: Why Honesty Can Wait (Especially During the Holidays)
- Tim Thürnau
- Dec 24, 2024
- 4 min read
Not every truth needs to be told immediately. Honesty without timing isn’t honesty—it’s recklessness.
Hello friend,
It’s Christmas Eve. The air is filled with festive cheer, the scent of mulled wine (or cocoa!) wafting through the air, and… let’s be honest… the potential for peak awkwardness. Whether it’s the oddly specific family traditions, the poorly wrapped Secret Santa gifts, or that one relative who always asks way too personal questions, the holidays have a knack for testing our social grace.
And then, there’s the moment. Someone hands you a gift—a sweater in a color you’d never wear, or a mug that’s clearly been re-gifted—and they eagerly ask, “What do you think?” The pressure to respond honestly hits like a sleigh full of bricks. Do you tell the truth? Do you fake a smile? Or is there a middle ground?
Honesty is important, but here’s the twist: it doesn’t always have to be immediate. Especially during emotionally charged moments like the holidays, timing can make all the difference. Let’s unwrap why sometimes, the best gift you can give is honesty with a little patience.
Reading the Holiday Room
Here’s the thing about Christmas: emotions are high. There’s joy, nostalgia, maybe a sprinkle of stress—and sometimes, those emotions can amplify reactions. It’s not the time to blurt out, “Thanks for the sweater, but it’s hideous,” or give unsolicited feedback about someone’s Christmas pudding. The holidays are a time for connection, not confrontation.
That doesn’t mean you should lie. But it does mean you can delay the truth. Honesty isn’t about ripping off the bandage the second it’s in your hand. It’s about choosing the right moment—one where your words will be heard, not buried under the noise of festive chaos.
Timing Is a Gift
Honesty delivered at the wrong time can feel like criticism. Honesty delivered at the right time feels like care. Here’s how timing transforms honesty into something constructive:
Meet Emotion with Emotion: During the holidays, people are often operating on feelings—excitement, sentimentality, or even exhaustion. Respond to the moment with warmth and empathy. The critique can wait.
Wait for Calm: If you need to be honest, choose a quieter moment when both of you are calm and rational. For instance, if someone asks for feedback on their holiday hosting, maybe don’t drop the truth bomb during dessert.
Frame the Truth with Care: Even when the time is right, honesty doesn’t mean being harsh. Instead of saying, “I hate the gift,” you could say, “I appreciate the thought you put into it—it’s such a unique choice!” (And yes, that’s still honest.)
Why This Matters for Relationships
The holidays are about more than gifts and glitter. They’re about relationships—the ones we cherish, the ones we navigate, and even the ones we tolerate. Honesty is crucial for strong relationships, but so is empathy. Choosing the right time for honesty shows respect for the other person’s feelings and strengthens the bond between you.
Think about it: if someone is bursting with holiday joy and you hit them with an unfiltered critique, what’s the impact? Even if your intentions are good, the delivery matters. By waiting for the right time, you’re not avoiding the truth—you’re honoring the relationship.
How to Wing It This Holiday Season
Here’s a little festive wisdom for navigating those holiday honesty dilemmas:
When in Doubt, Delay: If the moment feels charged, emotional, or rushed, hold off on the truth. A little patience goes a long way.
Keep the Focus on Connection: When emotions are high, respond with kindness. Prioritize the relationship in the moment; the critique can come later.
Embrace the Joy of the Present: The holidays are fleeting. Sometimes, it’s okay to let small things slide in favor of celebrating the bigger picture—love, connection, and togetherness.
Final Thoughts: Honesty Wrapped with Care
As we celebrate this season of giving, let’s remember that honesty is a gift too. But like any gift, it’s best delivered with thoughtfulness and care. This Christmas Eve, whether you’re navigating awkward family conversations or unwrapping questionable presents, remember: timing is everything. The truth can wait until it’s ready to be received.
Until next week, keep winging it, spreading cheer, and sharing the gift of patience.
Happy holidays, my friend.
Bridging Worlds
If you want to see me wing it, I do a podcast with cool people. You should subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or YouTube.
Discovering Inner Strength and Responsibility with Kilian Jonasch
This week on Bridging Worlds, I had the pleasure of speaking with Kilian Jonasch—a community builder, fitness coach, and advocate for personal growth. Kilian’s journey is anything but linear: from corporate marketing roles to creating Team NVRSTP, a thriving community focused on physical and mental resilience.
One standout moment?
"When you strip away all external labels—your job title, your achievements—who are you really? Learning to answer that question is where true growth begins."
In this episode, Kilian dives deep into:
Why mental strength is the foundation of success in sport and life
The importance of showing up for yourself with consistency and self-respect
How to build communities that challenge and uplift
I found Kilian’s story incredibly motivating, especially his take on taking ownership of your path and turning challenges into opportunities for growth.
🎧 Don’t miss this inspiring conversation! Tune in now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube.
Keep winging it, and I’ll see you in the next one.
Big love,
Tim