Are You Actually Good—Or Just Harmless?
- Tim Thürnau
- Nov 19, 2024
- 4 min read
Hello friend,
Let’s start with a fun little thought experiment: Are you “good” because you choose to be, or are you just harmless? Heavy, I know—but stay with me.
Jordan Peterson once said, “A harmless man is not a good man. A good man is a very dangerous man who has that under voluntary control.” And Miyamoto Musashi famously quipped, “It is better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war.”
At first, these quotes might sound like advice to become some battle-ready, sword-wielding warrior. But if we dig deeper, it’s not about aggression or violence—it’s about choice. It’s about the power of controlling your capacity for harm and, in doing so, choosing to be good. Because here’s the kicker: you can only truly be good if you have the ability to do bad. Otherwise, you’re not virtuous—you’re just avoiding confrontation.
So, let’s unpack this idea and figure out why goodness isn’t as simple as being nice.
The Illusion of Harmlessness
We all have an inner shadow—the capacity for anger, jealousy, selfishness, and yes, even harm. But we often trick ourselves into thinking, “I’m a good person because I don’t hurt anyone.” Here’s the truth: being unable to cause harm doesn’t make you good. It makes you harmless.
It’s like a dull knife—it won’t cut you, but that doesn’t mean it’s effective or useful. True goodness is knowing you could harm someone and choosing not to.
Why Facing Your Inner Demons Is Non-Negotiable
Think about your favorite hero in any story. Are they flawless, conflict-avoiding, always nice people? Of course not. They’re flawed, complex, and battle their own darkness. It’s what makes them compelling. It’s also what makes them capable of doing good in the world—they know what’s at stake because they’ve seen the shadow side.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: if you ignore your darker impulses—your anger, your jealousy, your selfish tendencies—they don’t go away. They just simmer under the surface, waiting for the right (or wrong) moment to explode. Facing those demons is what gives you the strength to control them. And when you have control, you gain choice. And that’s where goodness comes in.
True Goodness Comes From Strength, Not Fear
Here’s the core idea: you can only choose to be good if you also have the capacity to be dangerous. If you’re “good” because you’re too scared, weak, or incapable of being anything else, is that really goodness? No. It’s just fear in disguise.
But when you acknowledge your full capacity—your ability to hurt, to lash out, to choose selfishness—and decide to rise above it? That’s real strength. That’s where goodness lives.
Let’s use a metaphor (because I really like metaphors): Imagine you’re holding a sharp kitchen knife. You could easily use it to hurt someone—or you could use it to chop vegetables and cook a meal for people you care about. The knife itself isn’t inherently good or bad; it’s how you choose to wield it that makes all the difference. That’s what it means to be a “dangerous person under control”—someone who has the capacity to cause harm but intentionally uses their power for good.
How to Build Strength (Without the Fire-Breathing)
The good news? You don’t need to be an actual warrior to embody this principle. Here are a few ways you can start:
Face Your Shadows
Take a moment to reflect: What triggers your darker impulses? Maybe it’s anger when things don’t go your way, or selfishness in moments of stress. Acknowledge those feelings without judgment—they’re part of being human.
Learn Self-Control
When you feel the urge to lash out, take a breath. Literally. Pause and ask yourself: What kind of person do I want to be in this moment? The ability to pause and choose your response is a superpower.
Build Inner Resilience
Strength isn’t just physical—it’s emotional and mental too. Work on building your confidence and self-awareness so you can handle life’s curveballs with grace instead of aggression.
Do Good Because You Can
Practice using your strength for positive action. Stand up for someone who can’t stand up for themselves. Speak the truth when it’s hard. Do the right thing because you can, not because you’re afraid not to.
How to Wing It
This week, take a moment to reflect on your own capacity for harm—and how you choose to act instead. Write down one area in your life where you can exercise more control over your impulses. Maybe it’s a moment where you’d normally lose your patience, or a situation where you’d prioritize yourself over others. Practice being “a warrior in the garden.”
Final Thoughts: Goodness Is a Choice
True goodness isn’t about being weak, passive, or afraid. It’s about having the strength to do harm and choosing not to. It’s about facing your inner demons, acknowledging your power, and using it for something bigger than yourself.
So, are you harmless? Or are you powerful and controlled? The choice is yours.
Bridging Worlds
If you want to see me wing it, I do a podcast with cool people. You should subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or YouTube.
This week, I had an insightful conversation with Kevin Fechner, a trailblazing entrepreneur and co-founder of Visioplan, a startup bringing Virtual Reality (VR) to the forefront of architecture and construction. Kevin shared his journey from studying at the Bauhaus University in Weimar to founding a company that's transforming the way we design and visualize spaces.
One of the standout moments? “The magic of VR isn't just in creating stunning visuals—it's in empowering people to truly experience their future spaces before a single brick is laid.”
In this episode, Kevin reveals the challenges of building a business in a traditional industry, the future of VR in construction, and how his team is bridging the gap between digital innovation and tangible realities. Whether you're curious about startup life, tech innovations, or the untapped potential of VR, Kevin’s story is sure to spark new ideas.
Don't miss this episode with Kevin Fechner—it's a must-listen for entrepreneurs, creatives, and anyone fascinated by the intersection of design, technology, and innovation.
Keep winging it, and I’ll see you in the next one.
Big love,
Tim